Self-esteem and leadership.
In leadership, it is one of the leader's primary responsibilities to ensure subordinates feel their self-esteem is preserved. What exactly is self-esteem? Self-esteem is a value a person feels and thinks he/she holds in the group. It is an ability to feel motivated to perform tasks confidently. If self-esteem is low, then usually, co-worker feels less appreciated or less helpful. Many times, a leader won’t realise why it is happening what is happening. Things get worse when a leader demands compliance and performance. Subordinates usually feel unseen or unheard primarily because the leader is either consciously or unconsciously hiding the elephant in the room.
How do you deal with low self-esteem?
Well, there isn’t a solution as one fit for all. It primarily depends on how mature the leader is and how he/she wants to shape the future team. If low self-esteem becomes a disease in the team, then it is much harder to solve, and eventually, the entire organisation is affected. This also means the upper management must do whatever it takes to groom the leader and help them develop. The most important thing a leader should always start with is to preserve and protect everyone's self-esteem in the team. He must make sure others develop a perspective towards him as a person who genuinely cares about other’s well-being. If getting the most out of people's mindset is executed without empathy, then the objective will become a mystery to solve.
Many times, a leader undermines the need to develop a healthy environment, or he thinks that a healthy environment is already developed because we see fun communication. This isn’t true - the environment is the facade we see in the daily meetings. The original environment is hidden under every individual who develops their perspective as they progress within the organisation. As humans are highly adaptable, they quickly learn how to work with people around them. But this doesn’t guarantee whether relationships are developed at face value or they truly hold value in colleagues’ hearts. People who have contributed to an organisation for more than a year have already developed an environmental perspective within themselves about the organisation. Therefore, older colleagues may underestimate how newer colleagues feel when their self-esteem is hurt. Everybody lives within the perspective they have created, and hardly a few want to step out from their perspective and look from someone else angle. That’s why empathy plays a crucial role in the organisation. A leader without empathy is a leader without direction. A leader who compromises outcomes due to short-sightedness will compromise with the long-term vision of the company.
The art of giving subtle feedback
If you notice, I’m trying to connect the dots, once we realise self-esteem within the team must be solved, and then an empathetic nature must be adapted, then there is one more thing to make the process resolved. It is subtle feedback. I wish I could emphasise more on the “subtle” part than the feedback itself. In my opinion, it is an art to be subtle and be in the flow. We also need to create a flow with our colleagues and then make it natural to give feedback so that their subconscious minds adapt quickly. When we give feedback by a defined process, we are undermining the natural way of human interaction. See it as an industrialised way of trying to correct something by undermining the root cause. Feelings like unheard, ignored, or one side of a story prevails easily.
Instead, we should make our feedback so subtle that it can’t be differentiated from regular conversation. And without the other side knowing that you are done giving feedback. Such harmony in communication makes a good leader better! One may argue that it might contribute to demoralising Leapsome feedback, which is a well-structured process. Well, I’m in favour of making Leapsome more sort of a dinner date rather than a laptop meeting. Giving people focus and attention to uplift them (and yourself) is very crucial, and Leapsome can fill this void partially. Instead of making a Leapsome feedback meeting a “correction” meeting, we should opt for a “looking future together” meeting.
Striking a balance between being hasteful and lazy while conducting a feedback conversation is crucial. Before we give feedback or what we think, let the other party explain themselves about a particular situation. I know the above things are easy to write and harder to master. But if you want to become the best leader, the journey starts with being patient and thoughtful. Making feedback in questionary form allows the other side to be heard. Enforcing your view undermines others easily. We rarely realise when we are bossy and when we are helpful. This is something we should ask our colleagues subliminal questions attached in our everyday conversation. A constant process to learn and grow rather than fixing monthly meetings and scheduling feedback talks. Avoid pointing fingers and harness the repo of security and entertainment. A wise person speaks at the right time, at the right place, and with the right people.